i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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