I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
