I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You're so nebulous sometimes
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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