I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He better not be in your backpack
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
