Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
