plz talk dirty to me
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
