real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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