he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
