Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
This is not my ceiling
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
