No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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