did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He? As in you personified your dick?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
