i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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