Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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