just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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