Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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