Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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