the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just threw up on my dentist
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
