My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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