yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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