We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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