btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
