I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize