So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
