My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize