Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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