But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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