all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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