why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
