He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
