I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Verdict: uncircumcised.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
