First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
