i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
