He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
