He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize