where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
