There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
