I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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