So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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