well you can't waste a boner
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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