So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
