Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize