Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
