I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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