adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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