So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
