Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You're like the curious george of whores
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
