Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
