Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There r osticjed everywhere
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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