Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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