This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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