What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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