I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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