Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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