the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
