at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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