I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
