Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
