2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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