Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
