i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
